Love Languages

One of the many things I have my fiance to thank for is that she's constantly teaching me new things.  One of the many things she's taught me about myself and about the world is the existence of different love languages.

One night we were watching TV and she asked me to take an online quiz on the topic.  She was insistent and as someone that despises "wasting time online" (not counting Facebook), I was hesitant.  Little did I know, my acquiescence, would have a profound impact on our relationship.

Love languages or relationship languages, for that matter, dictate how people derive meaning and satisfaction in their relationships.  All in all, there are five identified love languages.

1) Words of Affirmation
2) Acts of Service
3) Gift Giving
4) Quality Time
5) Physical Touch

A perfect example of these styles in action are evident in my own relationship, as we have conflicting styles.  I crave verbal praise and physical touch.  I take meaning out of her saying she loves me or is proud of me, paired with a simple shoulder touch.  Don't get me wrong, I love it if she cooks dinner or buys me a watch (hint, hint), but I view these as commonplace and somewhat impersonal.    

She on the other hand prescribes to my Father's old adage, "actions speak louder than words."  Quality time and acts of service are the things that say "I Love you" more than the words "I Love you."  Now, I'm not going to lie, I couldn't understand this for the life of me for quite a while, until one day I was vacuuming when she got home from work.  The intensity of the love in her eyes was so noticeable that you would have thought I was proposing at that moment.  That's when things really sank in, that if I want to show her how much she means to me, words are nice, but the house better be clean and dinner made first.

The impact this understanding has had can't be overlooked.  We understand each other better and communicate more effectively.

There are tons of online quizzes to figure out your relationship style.  This can help you understand a friend, a family member, or your significant other.  If you take the time to do this, I promise you won't be disappointed.