I can see 23 year old Chris asking 30 year old, about to be married, Chris this very question. Twenty-three year old Chris' experiences suggest that you're a whole person looking for someone to complement you; looking for someone that adds more than they subtract- (+) attractive, (-) selfish, (+) similar interests, (-) impatient, etc. etc. Fortunately for 23 year old Chris, 30 year old Chris has learned that there's an entirely new ballgame out there for those lucky enough to have met their true counterpart.
When thinking about who I've become as a person, I now see that I'm an irreplaceable part of a pair. When I look at pictures, they're always better with her there. When I think of outings, they're always better with her enjoyment. When I think of the future, she's the first thing I see. No longer am I a single person moving through the world; I'm intertwined with another, I'm connected at the soul with a person that knows me better than anyone else in the world, including my own Mother.
Having met the person that makes me feel whole, I see that there's much more to this equation than a simple +/- 1 point. It's a deep, unflappable connection that creates our relationship. It was never something that had to develop or something that took effort. From day one I knew that she made me a better person. No more browning out and dancing on bars for this guy.
I also saw that the sum of us together made me want to try; to forego being mad or winning a fight, to be the first to say "I'm sorry," to give up the selfishness that your early 20's reinforces. She innately makes me want to try harder, to provide more, to be a better person for her. Thankfully, being a better person for her isn't solely based on the physical or aesthetic. Hopefully I'll never again have to wear a turtleneck sweater on a date... yeah that happened.
Being a better person for her is being happy, being compassionate, being a willing and supportive husband, friend, and someday father. It's viewing decisions through her eyes and making her feel heard and respected in conversations.
Most importantly, she makes all this feel natural, when it couldn't be further from the nature of a 20 year old guy. The fact that I feel funny, challenged, supported, loved, lusted, and understood while around her, is purely icing on the cake and makes life feel more promising than it ever has.
Again, none of this was a simple addition problem. It just seemed to happen and I can't imagine willfully undoing it all. So, to 23 year old Chris, yes I'm sure. I know it'll take work, but I hold confidence in the idea that I met a partner that makes me want to work harder in all I do, especially "us." That's a stability that is so foreign to you at the moment, that it's going to hit you like a ton of bricks when it finally shows up. Don't ever look back and don't ever question what you've built with her because she's the Love of your life.
Related Posts:
Love Languages
No comments:
Post a Comment