To my daughter

As I look at you now, you're so pure, so untouched by the world.  No pessimism, negativity, or bias.  You're not damaged goods, jaded by past experience.  You're not racist, crass, or angry.  You can be anyone, anything.  The world will shape you and try to pull you with the majority, which is a terrifying thought.

To combat against all the negatives and toxins that will hit you along the way, I have a plan.

I promise you that I will show you how a man should treat a woman.  I will date your Mother, no matter how long we're together, and I will show you what a true gentleman looks like.  I will open your door, buy you flowers (just because), hold your hand, tell you that I was thinking about you, listen to what you have to say and look you in the eye when you're saying it.  I will respect you and cherish your Love.  When you say "I can't," I will believe in you, and encourage you to try, because you can do anything.  I will dream up a hundred ways to teach you that you are great and deserving of greatness in return.

No settling, no low-class doesn't know how to treat a lady, no "he's way out of my league," no "well he's a nice guy."  I will teach you to expect the best and to love without fear.  I will show you the power of vulnerability and what happens when you act in spite of fear.

You will also learn that there are two paths through life.  Safety or excitement, security or passion.  I will push you towards the road of passion.  Passion will guide you through the maze of life en route to adventure and freedom.  Life can be full of authentic experiences, absent of regret.  Embrace vulnerability and acting because it feels right, for your Mother and I pledge to build an unwavering compass for you, in you.

Most importantly, we will teach you that friends are life's mortar to hold everything together, but family is the foundation on which you were built.  If and when everything comes crashing down, family will always be there.  They are not to be walked on, neglected, or taken for granted.  They are life's most precious relationships to be cherished and nurtured.  Family will be there on the greatest occasions of your life, all of which will be that much sweeter because they'll be shared with people that truly matter.  Embrace this.  Welcome it.

Above all, we will teach you to pursue a life of perpetual learning.  Never settle.  Strive for new knowledge every day.  Stagnation is the enemy of fulfillment and a life full of consistent growth will reap rewards far greater than their sum.

Grow, love, learn, without hesitation and without fear.

Building a crib

You would have thought that my wife's giant belly would make me realize how real things are getting.  Apparently not so.  Putting together a crib was the kick to the chest that made me realize just what was happening to us.  That's when I felt it all...

Pressure.

There are few things in life that force introspection in a man like the impending arrival of one's offspring.  Suddenly you'll find yourself reflecting on your childhood, your parents, your family values, on the values you share with your partner.  Am I mature enough to be a role model?  They're so impressionable.  How do I catapult this person from mediocrity to greatness?  I had such a great start to life.  Will siblings find friendship or rivalry?  Friendship, I pray.

Joy.

A complete stranger once told me that there is nothing in life that adds the kind of depth that a child does.  They create a kind of love that you never knew existed.  I see that in my sister-in-law and niece.  They allow you to see things in a joyful, pure way, if you let them pull you into their world.  The wonder and elation of even the simplest of things is so infectious.  Grass can apparently be funny, as can dog kisses.  You can laugh at them, but better yet, laugh with them, for life can be extraordinary in the most ordinary of situations.

Fear.

Things are also scary.  The internet gives greater access to information than we've ever enjoyed, and it's terrifying.  Pregnancy can seem so fragile at times, but we forget that humans have been doing this for thousands of years in much more precarious positions than middle class America with great health insurance.      

The scariest of all seems to be the inevitability of time and the forfeiture of narcissistic concerns.  Soon this child will be asking for the keys to the car.  I'll hand them over will full, terrifying knowledge of 17 year old behavior.  Will I have the ability to let go and allow him/her to grow, live their life, and learn lessons exactly as I did?  The hard way.  Suddenly my greatest worry in life is walking out the door.  

Love.

Through all of this, I think of what my wife has endured and will go through in child birth.  How she'll depend on me in pain, fear, and self doubt, while completing an athletic event longer and harder than anything I've done.  Suddenly I don't feel like the strong one in the relationship.  For the first time, I see the power behind the title "Mom."  This brings about a deep respect that I'm not sure I can find the words for, other than "I Love you."

So many feelings... all from building a crib.